I haven't written in over two weeks. Sorry 'bout that! I've had many things going through my mind, and I've had a pretty rough month so far. So I haven't been writing much because I didn't want this blog to become a place where I put all of my "drama" and complaints. What can I say? Sometimes we go through stuff. And this particular brand of "stuff" was a little too personal to post all over the internet. But enough of that.
I ran across a devotional today that really got me thinking. The Scripture that went along with the devotion was Mark 16:19-20 "After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, He was taken up into heaven and He sat at the right hand of God. Then the disciples went out and preached everywhere, and the Lord worked with them and confirmed His word by the signs that accompanied it."
I've always just had that visual picture in my mind of the disciples watching Jesus ascend into heaven, and then turning around to head back home. Of course we know that they returned and waited for the Holy Spirit to be sent to them. And we can figure that they probably were a little sad to see Jesus go. But one thing I never thought about before was how easy it would have been for the disciples to get discouraged. I wonder if any of them had thoughts like this:
"How am I supposed to perform miracles like Jesus did? I'm just a man......"
"Am I really good enough to follow in His footsteps?"
"What if I get something wrong?"
"It was so much easier when Jesus was with us. This is too hard for me!"
"I'll never be able to live up to the standard Jesus set. I hope He isn't mad at me for failing so much."
I won't ever know what the disciples truly thought after Jesus left. But I can bet that they all had at least a few moments of self-doubt and discouragement, especially in hardships. After all, even though they did great things, they were still human.
We are all called to do different things. Some of us are really secure with ourselves and able to grab the task at hand with full confidence. Many of us, however, are plagued with feelings of doubt and low confidence in ourselves. But you know what I find really awesome? God doesn't force us to walk through our lives by ourselves. We have His help! Just like He did with the disciples, God sends the Holy Spirit to us to strengthen us and guide us as we fulfill our calling. And Jesus said that through the Holy Spirit we would do even greater things than what He did while on earth. Wow!
We will all go through times where we feel inadequate and very very small. But keep your head up! We have God on our side while we are working to fulfill our calling, and we have Help that can enable us to do great things if only we believe. For someone like me who constantly struggles with self-doubt, this message is like a lifeline. I was so encouraged to read this today and to realize that I truly am not alone. Even the disciples probably had doubts and fears, especially at the beginning, but like the disciples, I too have the Holy Spirit to assist me every day. And it is true, I don't have what it takes to get the job done by myself, but with the power of the Holy Spirit I am empowered to do great things. Hallelujah!
If you are unfamiliar with the Holy Spirit, I greatly encourage you to grab a concordance and dig deep into Scripture. Learn about the baptism of the Holy Spirit and begin to seek that for your own life. I have only been baptized for a year and a half, but that day changed my life forever....and I know He will do the same for you.
That's all I got for today folks! I hope this encouraged you as much as it did me. I feel like things are getting much better for me, so hopefully I will get back on top of my writing schedule. ;)
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen." ~Ephesians 3:20-21