Over the last three weeks I have been really sick two times. The first time was a sinus infection that lasted for ten days. It took me a week from the time I came down with it to feel like I was not going to die….that was a rough one. The second time was a three-day long stomach bug. Yay for me. Needless to say, the last three weeks have not treated me very well and things have not been great in the Casterline house (because Roman had the sinus infection for a week before I had it, so there’s that too.)
But you guys, I scored the jackpot when I married this man of mine. One thing that I can say he does extremely well is taking care of his wife, especially when she is glued to the recliner claiming that she is going to die within the next five minutes. Ahem.
Through all of the bowls of chicken noodle soup and sweet tea refills, he was right there….patiently doing everything he could to make sure I was taken care of. He cooked, he cleaned up the kitchen, he took care of all the animals. Seriously, if you took a glance at my house right now you’d never know that I’m three weeks behind in vacuuming and my bathroom mirrors should also probably get cleaned, because Mr. Husband did a pretty dang good job holding down the fort.
All of this got me thinking last night, because I know that not every wife has it this good.
We had an evangelist come to our church a couple weeks ago for revival. He was awesome, and we really enjoyed getting to eat dinner with him after service a few times and learning more about him. He would randomly throw out questions like “do you hate your job” and “how long have you been married” as we talked and joked. One time, he asked “so does Roman help with the housework?” to which I enthusiastically replied “yes!” He looked a little surprised at my answer, so I continued. “No really, he really does. I never have to beg him to help out around the house. If I ask him for help, he helps. And a lot of times I don’t even have to ask.”
My point in all of this is twofold:
1) Roman seriously deserves some credit. This husband of mine is living, breathing proof that men are not who the media says they are. Not all men are lazy and inconsiderate. There are men out there who actually have a servant’s heart. Men who are willing to be there for their wives and share some of the load when it comes to housekeeping. I happened to snag a really good one, and I like telling you about it-not because I’m prideful-but because sometimes it’s nice for us to brag on our guys in front of other people. And I could brag for a long time on Mr. Casterline.
2) To challenge you.
If you are a man: I challenge you to step up to the plate (if you aren’t already.) We women do a lot. Many of us work. And then we come home and cook. And take care of kids. And do the laundry. And you get the point. Yes, I know that you guys work too, and this is not to discount everything that you do. But this is not a contest to see who works more and therefore who deserves to sit on the couch while the other person plays house. Marriage is a partnership, and both partners should be striving to make the home run smoothly. So my challenge is for you to survey your household. Does your wife seem overburdened with work/kids/house? Is there something you can do to help out? Perhaps you can volunteer to do the dishes while she cleans up from dinner. Or you maybe you can help Junior out with his math homework so she can fold some of the laundry. And don’t worry, I know what you’re thinking, and I’m about to address that.
If you are a woman: let him help you. We can be control freaks sometimes. And yes, I’m speaking to myself here. We desperately want him to help us, but we want him to do it our way. So we’ll nag him when he does it wrong instead of thanking him, or we won’t even let him help in the first place. Listen, it doesn’t matter if he sweeps the floor differently than you. He’s getting the fur balls out of the corner! Trust me I KNOW we like things to be done a certain way. I have 100% gotten in an all-out brawl with Roman over how the towels needed to be folded. If I clean our house all by myself on a Saturday, it will look awesome. It will also take me six hours and I’ll be a zombie by the time I get done. If I let Roman help me, the house will still look awesome even though he does things a little bit differently, it takes less than half the time, and we still have the time/energy to do something fun on Saturday evenings.
And one more thing, to all of my unmarried readers……
Learn to take on that servant’s attitude before you ever get married. Know that when you do get married, it will take the two of you working together to have a happy, efficient home. Look for that same servant’s attitude when you are searching for your spouse. It’s easy to spot….a servant’s attitude will cause you to be the first to start helping clean up the kitchen at church after a potluck dinner. Or help the lady with two buggies of groceries get to her car. Or volunteer at church to clean the bathrooms. You get my point.
Believe me, life is so much easier when you have a husband that serves you soup while you’re sick. And those fur balls accumulate pretty quickly when you’re doing everything on your own. Just sayin’.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” ~1 Corinthians 13:4-5