If you’re friends with me on Facebook, then you might have seen some of my posts from our revival services we are having this week. Let me be the first tell you: I’m exhausted. We are entering the last service tonight, and I am excited to see what God has done and yet incredibly sad to see the evangelist close his last sermon. Evangelist Mike Holt has done an amazing job speaking at our revival, and I’m so thankful he was able to come. But holy moly, having extended worship services several nights in a row while simultaneously going to work the next morning is tiring!
Anyways, as I said, the services have been amazing, on point, and totally relevant to where I am in my walk with Christ. God has revealed several things to me that I need to work on in my life, but I have also felt His presence stronger than I have in a long time. It has definitely been every bit of the definition of the word “revival” in my soul.
God has definitely awakened something in me though, and that is my immediate need to start working for His kingdom. Really working. Yes, I know, I am a worship leader. So “technically” I already am working for His kingdom. But can I just be really, blatantly honest and transparent with you guys? I am a worship leader who has never personally led anyone to Christ.
That burns my heart to actually type those words, because I am ON STAFF AT A CHURCH. I am supposed to be a shining example of Christianity…..and yet, I have never walked someone through the salvation process. I have never walked up to a random stranger at the mall and witnessed to them. Shoot, I’ve never walked up to my own family members that I know for a fact are dying and going to hell if they don’t change their ways and witnessed to them. Sure, I know I’ve made an impact in other people’s live….and perhaps later they might get saved because of something I have said or done. I have gotten e-mails and messages from people telling me that what I’ve written on this blog has made a difference in their lives, and I am truly grateful for those comments. But still, shouldn’t I be doing more? Shouldn’t I be more proactive about living out my faith? Shouldn’t I be itching to tell others about all of the wonderful things that God has done in my life? I mean, this is eternity we’re talking about here!!!!
I’m tired of living under a rock. I’m tired of trying to fit in. I’m tired of doing things and acting a certain way so people will like me and respect me. I’m tired of holding my tongue because I’m afraid that someone might get mad at me or not want to speak to me anymore. My introvert personality has choked out my courage, but God has revealed that to me and I am ready to see Him take this shy soul of mine and make it bold and courageous for His glory.
Our God is a living, breathing God. A thought that came to me this past Sunday while we were worshipping was this: sometimes I am up on that stage singing to God like I am singing to an innate object. Sometimes my worship and my lifestyle reflects a view that I don’t really recognize an active, personable, responsive Father. But the truth is, He is here, in our midst. The Holy Spirit is on this earth, pricking our hearts towards His love, asking us what we will do for His kingdom, seeking after our lives. I forget that while I am on stage singing my lungs out, the Holy Spirit is there in the room with me. I forget that while I am at work joking with my friends, the Holy Spirit is there in the room with me. I forget that while I am driving (too fast) on my way home from work with the radio blaring, the Holy Spirit is there with me.
I want to be present. Not just physically, but spiritually. I want to be aware of God’s constant presence in my life. I want to show Him the love and respect that He desires, and not just the actions that I perform out of habit. I want to branch out, to stretch, to grow, into the calling He has placed on His life.
And more than anything, I want to personally see lost people come to know Christ. I want to be a shining light that leads them. I want to personally see people getting baptized in the Holy Spirit. I want to encourage and disciple new believers in their new relationship with Jesus. I want to see His kingdom grow. I want to see my community changed. I want to see my family members, my friends, and complete strangers have their lives turned upside down by a living Savior who loves them every bit as much as He loves me.
I just wanted to share where my heart is at right now with all of you, because I know I’m not the only one who needs to hear words like this. And I hope to see some of you at our last revival service tonight, it’s going to be a good one…I can tell! (If you need directions to our church, please message me or leave a comment on this blog.)“Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. And when they saw Him they worshipped Him, but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’” ~Matthew 28-16-20