Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Tale of Ms. Lauren

Meet Lauren.

I normally over-share about Duke, but rarely about this *ahem* darling kitty of ours. My friend calls her the "oil spill kitty". I call her a muskrat.

I am fairly sure she at least a cousin to a muskrat. 

Guys. I know all cats are kind of weird, but this cat goes a little bit beyond the general cat-weirdness. For one, she actually looks like a muskrat. You can't really see it in any of the pictures I have of her, but her body is really chunky, and her legs are really short. This gives her a general muskratty appearance.

This also impairs her from doing normal cat-like things. 

Take jumping for instance. Sometimes she is able to jump on top of the cabinets. Sometimes she halfway makes it and then falls down. Sometimes she runs really fast and forgets to jump at all and just headbutts the cabinet. 

She's just really really weird.

For the past several weeks, she has spent most of her waking hours staring out one of the windows in our bedroom. 

Our house has plenty of windows, but apparently this one has suddenly become special. When I wake up in the morning, she is there. When I come home from work, she is there. 

We thought she was staring at a tree that was growing out of the bush right in front of that window, but Roman cut it down over a week ago. And she is still sitting there. She's probably sitting there as I write this post. 

I'm telling you guys, when my mom rescued her out of our barn when she was just a tiny kitten, I'm certain that she suffered brain damage from malnutrition. I just wish I had known that I was adopting a muskrat. A muskrat that should spend her time staring out of one window and shedding a bucket of fur every day all over my house. A muskrat that would eat the heads off of roaches and leave the rest of them on my floor during the night. A muskrat that never wanted to be petted, but wanted to gnaw on your fingers and toes instead. 

I'm telling you guys, she goes beyond the general level of cat-weirdness. Even Duke doesn't want to chase her. Oh, and did I mention that she likes to chew on his dog toys? (see above)

Weird. Really weird. 

"A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed." ~Proverbs 15:13

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