Monday, December 10, 2012

The Awkward Moment When....

Everyone who has a Facebook has probably seen some of those “the awkward moment when….” statements. Some of them are funny, like “The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can’t make the noise again to prove you didn’t fart” or “The awkward moment when you predict the end of the world and nothing happens”. Others of them are lame like, “The awkward moment when I couldn’t come up with something awkward to say” or “The awkward moment when you log onto Facebook and you have no new notifications”. Lame. *womp womp*
In the spirit of giving into peer pressure, I have two of my own for you. Unfortunately, these are from real life experiences….also, both events happened today, actually within ten minutes of each other….
The awkward moment when you reach for the door handle and miss….so you run straight into the door.
The awkward moment when you are fixing your hair in the bathroom and someone walks out of the stall, looks in the mirror, and says, “**&*%^&$&(*(*!! My &*^% boobs are too big for this dress! *(*&-$@@*!!!!!”
First of all, for all of those concerned, my face is fine. And THANK THE GOOD LORD no one saw me. Except for God. And I’m pretty sure He had a good laugh. I know I did.
Second of all, what in the world am I supposed to say to that? I thought of some possible replies….
“Maybe you shouldn’t have gotten a boob job” (am I allowed to say this??!?)
“Darn those genetics!” (I guess this is better than assuming she got a boob job)
“It’s really not that bad….” (kindof a creepy/stalker thing to say because, you know, I’d have to look at her boobs to say it)
“Do you not know how to try on clothes before you purchase them?” (sarcastic, but true)
“Lucky you, I never have that problem!!” (um….TMI?)
“Maybe you had a recent growth spurt?...” (just dumb. This was an old-ish woman….so it would have been dumb if I said it. Thankfully I didn’t say it.)
“Oh my! Did the dress shrink or something?” (probably the best response (??), but super fake concern would have been expressed)

I could tell I was expected to say something though, as she continued to make weird noises, throw out some more profanity, and tug and pull on her dress in a weird, rough way. Thankfully, just as she became more agitated and I felt like I had no choice but to comment on this woman’s boob dilemma (who I have never met, by the way) someone else walked in. Someone else that boob-lady knew. Soon afterwards I made my escape, but I feel 99% certain that the expression of boob-overflow continued. Probably with more tugging and cussing.
All I know is, I’m grateful to have made it out of the bathroom without having to comment on a stranger’s boob issue. And I also remembered to grab the door handle prior to walking into the door when I returned to my office. An added plus, no doubt.
And if you would like another chuckle, head over to The Life With The Casterlines’ Facebook page (or don’t, I’m not the boss of you). Short run down: After the door and the bathroom incident, I went to a staff meeting….where a manager called someone else an Information Monster. Which was weird….but also kind of funny. Thankfully I covered up my grin with my hand and managed not to laugh out loud. You people probably don’t think it’s funny….guess you had to be there. Anyways, if you want to see it, click here: The Information Monster
The awkward moment when someone calls someone else an Information Monster in a meeting…and you decide to draw it and post it to your Facebook.   ….Oh wait, that’s not awkward. Lame. *womp womp*

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones”. ~Proverbs 17:22

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