I write about our dog, Duke, a lot. But I rarely write about our two cats, Ralph and Lauren. Get it? Ralph Lauren? Yea, I know....kinda lame in a cute way.
We *ahem* acquired Ralph just one month after we got married. We actually had seen him around our neighborhood while we were moving in and thought he was just like all the other strays. I jokingly named him Ralph because when he meowed that's what it sounded like he was saying. Roman didn't want me naming him because that meant I might want to keep him. One month later, he was living in our house and sleeping on our pillows. Note taken: you really shouldn't name stray animals.....you wind up getting attached.
Ralph is a big cat....not big as in fat, big as in really tall and long. He also thinks he is a mountain cat and can jump onto my shoulder from a sitting position. And oh yea, he hates Duke with every fiber of his being. Duke finds this amusing and tries his hardest to find new ways to "connect" with this stubborn kitty....which only deepens Ralph's hatred.
But Lauren is totally different.....in every way. She was dumped on my parent's property when she was still a kitten. I think her brain got deprived of nutrients because....well, she's not very cat like. Example: she tries hard to jump on the counter tops. Sometimes she makes it.....other times she just kind of...doesn't. Her problem is, she has the body of a full sized cat, but her legs are still the length of a kitten's. Which means she stinks at jumping and when she runs I always giggle a little bit. I admit that is sort of mean.....but then you've never seen her run. Trust me, it's funny.
Saturday night though, she made a successful jump onto the counter and ate an entire square of Hershey's milk chocolate. Me, being the panicky person that I am, immediately searched Google. You should never do that. Because Googling stuff like that just gives you all sorts or irrational fears. Apparently chocolate is not only bad for dogs, but is also really bad for cats as well. If she had eaten too much of it, it could apparently give her a heart attack or stroke. Or she could start violently throwing up and die of dehydration. Awesome. But the article didn't say how much was too much.....so of course I was freaking out all night long wondering if she would die or not.
She didn't die. She didn't even throw up. Stupid cat. Note taken: Google doesn't have all the answers. And one square of chocolate will not kill your cat. Although it is still toxic, so you shouldn't just give it to them for dessert. Not that i would ever volunteer my chocolate to my pets. I love them....but i love chocolate too. There are some things i just won't share. Ahem.
Oh and one more fun fact about my pet children....Ralph is an escape artist. So if you ever come to my house, I will demand that you enter the door quickly lest he escape. And if you ever see me creeping around my own front yard with a container of cat food, it's because the $($(#*-&" cat got out again. Maybe I should just feed him a bunch of chocolate so I won't have to worry about it anymore.
KIDDING PETA. I would never waste chocolate like that.
.....oh yea, I would never poison my cat-child either.
"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace among people with whom He is pleased!" ~Luke 2:14