We silly humans are awfully forgetful. We forget where we put our keys. We forget about appointments. We forget we already have something scheduled and then schedule something else and then have to profusely apologize to people for having to re-schedule. We forget where we parked our car. We forget our grocery list at the house. And even though it seems silly, we forget that God loves us. A whole bunch.
I suppose I have just been in a forgetful mood lately. I have forgotten where I parked at work. And it seems like I have lost my phone in my house at least daily. These are all minor inconveniences, but my recent forgetfulness about God's love is a pretty big deal. Because forgetting that can really put you in a hard place really fast.
We all go through rough times. We all have times where we feel like God is very far away. We all have moments where we find ourselves so unworthy of His love and wonder how He can care so much. And we all forget how much we are worth to God sometimes. I've definitely been guilty of that lately.
Life has been crazy. Between Roman's job hunt, taking over as the lead singer for our praise team, switching to a new job, hurting my back real bad, and life in general.....well, let's just say that I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed these past few days. And let me pause to say, it's totally normal to feel overwhelmed with life sometimes. But one of the worst things we can do when we are feeling overwhelmed is allow Satan to have a field day in our minds.
I can say this about myself: Satan loves to make me feel like I'm not enough. And for whatever reason, I have a bad habit of listening when those thoughts start playing through my mind. And when I start to think that I'm not good enough, I start doubting God's love for me.
I know that I am not alone in this.
Yesterday I was getting ready to park my car and go back inside from my lunch break. Just as I was about to open the door, God stopped me and whispered into my heart just one word. "Listen." I knew that voice. My heart flopped for a second. My hand came down from the handle. I turned up the radio.
The hosts on K-Love were interviewing some scientist dude. But this scientist dude was a Christian dude who studied the skies and the universe and saw the glory of God in big huge ways. I think he had written a book or something....not really sure because I missed the beginning. But I heard the one thing I needed to hear (paraphrased): "Scripture tells us that God names the stars. I study the stars. I see galaxies of stars every day. If God has named each and every one of those stars, do we really think that His love is any less than the glory of His creation? Can we not look at the beauty around us and understand that God loves us even more? We are so small in this huge creation of His, but He loves us more than all of the stars and the trees and the oceans and everything else we see. And I think it breaks His heart when we fail to realize the depth of His love."
How profound is that?? It was exactly what my worn down little heart needed to hear. My spirit was revived and I felt a new freshness wash over me.
Later that evening I had to pick something up from my mom's house. Before I got out of my car when I got back home, I prayed something like this:
"Lord, I am sorry that I have forgotten how much You love me. Please re-ignite my passion for You. All I want to do is make You proud and do the work You have called me to do. I know that sometimes I will fall and sometimes I will make mistakes, but just keep me going strong. Give me Your strength and Your heart."
And then, I made a declaration to the enemy (because whether we realize it or not, the enemy can hear and understand our words):
"Satan, I will not walk around this mountain again with you. I will not take you by the hand and listen to your insults. I will not feel small. I will not feel insignificant. I will not go around this mountain again where I stay knocked down for days while you trample my heart. My God will pick me up and carry me over this mountain, and He will crush your head. I am not walking around this mountain again with you. Go away."
I am inviting each of you to do the same if you are struggling with something like I was. My sweet friends, God loves us more than we know. He cares about everything in our lives: from our hangnails to our jobs to our futures. Sometimes He will feel far away. Sometimes things will get hectic and a little bit scary. But God still loves us and cares for us regardless of what's happening in our surroundings.
Satan, we will not walk around this mountain with you. We will strive to learn more about God's love and embrace His love, rather than run from it. We will take our place in His kingdom as His hands and feet and share His love with others.
Oh Lord, forgive our unbelieving hearts. Ignite that spark....ignite that passion for You in all of us.
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it." ~Psalm 139:13-14