Saturday, July 21, 2012

Blast from the Past

Okay so, in case any of you have not figured it out yet, I am kind of just a little bit crazy.

My mother is finally getting around to cleaning out certain areas of my old room, and she uncovered a paper I wrote when I was 14. I'm going to guess that this was never submitted for school because there are no grades on it. I simply hope that I never submitted it for assignment because it is, without question, so very strange.

I always love finding old papers that I wrote from my youth. They are good reminders of just how crazy I am (and also how I have an impeccable sense of humor). This blast from the past is certainly no exception. In fact, you should be able to see exactly how I have developed my mad writing skills. Everything is explained. Yup, it's that powerful. So without further ado, I present to you:

Where I Stand

I am 14. I am the third daughter of my parents. I am a horseback rider, runner, and a piano player. I am 2 people's best friend, and a good friend to many others. According to anonymous people, I am a little strange. I am also a dumb blond. But most of all, I am a Bush supporter, I am a fan of Antarctica.

I like horses. I like my blond hair. I like the Tennessee Volunteers and UGA. I like going to football games with my friends. I like watching idiot weather reporters being blown away. I like Coach Mear's class. I like being around people who make me laugh. I like Bush a whole lot more than Kerry. I like Antarctica.

I believe in God, therefore, I believe I am saved. I believe animals go to heaven. I believe horses are the best animals on the planet. I believe running is the only true sport. People who are 60 are not going to be playing football, but they can still run. I believe Bush should win this election. I believe that the war on terrorism is because of terrorists, not because of Bush. I believe Antarctica is the best continent ever.

I do not care for people who talk loud and think they know it all. I do not care for millionaires, billionaires, and other people who are obsessed with money. I do not care for two-faced Christians. I think that if they say they are a Christian, they should act like one too. I do not care for healthy foods even though I run over 18 miles a week and I need them. I do not care for people who don't like the continent of Antarctica. That continent is awesome. I do not care for supporters of abortion, homosexuals, the lottery, and evolutionists. I do not care for John Kerry. At all.

I am tired of hearing noise. I am tired of hearing about hurricanes, I am tired of hearing the hurricanes blowing off my roof and knocking down my trees. I am tired of hearing about geometry and physical science. I am tired of hearing anything and everything about rap music. I am tired of hearing about John Kerry and his stupid, made up stories. I am tired of hearing about people complaining about the war in Iraq when they practically pushed the president into declaring war in the first place. I am tired of hearing about who's fault 9/11 was. It was the terrorists' fault and no one else's. I am tired of hearing about people who don't like Antarctica, and horses.

I favor horses and Antarctica. I favor longer summers, and saving the trees by not having exams. I favor Pro-life, the 10 Commandments, and Godly marriages. I favor recess over geometry and physical science. I favor pizza over spinach. I favor cross-country. But most of all, I favor Bush.

The End.

Charming, isn't it?? I have to say that I was very opinionated little 14 year-old. So before someone carts me away to the crazy-house, let me clarify a few things:

At the time, there were several hurricanes. My favorite thing to do was watch the reporters on the Weather Channel stand on the beach while in the middle of a hurricane (not smart) and then comment on "how strong this wind is" or "how the wind is about to knock me off of my feet". I'm sorry, but it was hilarious. And still is.

Coach Mear's class was the bomb-diggity.

I don't think running is the only true sport, but it is one that you can do for the rest of your life. And I do still love running.

I care a little bit more for those people who played the lottery because they funded my entire college education. Thanks guys. PS: I still think the lottery is wrong.

I care a little bit more for healthy foods like spinach. Still love pizza. But healthy foods are a lot more essential then my naive little 14 year-old self could understand.

I am no longer tired of hearing about hurricanes. Now I am tired of hearing about Hollywood, and pretty much everything else the news stations have to say. Which is why I don't watch the news.

A hurricane never blew off my roof nor did it ever knock down any of my trees. I have no clue where that came from.

I still don't like rap music.

Now that school is over for me, I don't care if the summers are longer. Summer is hot. Bring on the winter time.

I realize now that being a Christian is so much more than just believing in God. But I still don't like two-faced Christians.

I still have a strong hatred for geometry and physical science. Well, any science really.

John Kerry did lie a lot.

Come on guys, we really could save a bunch of paper if we just stopped giving out exams.

Bush was a better president than Obama is, but I don't like him so much now.

Pro-life, the 10 Commandments, and Godly marriages are still a-okay in my book.

I still like my blond hair.

And Antarctica is in fact the best continent on this earth.

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