Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Warning: My Dog Might Pee On You

I always take Duke running with me. For the most part, he is a good running partner and listens extremely well. So well, that I hardly ever put him on a leash. This way, he’s not forced to stay under my feet, and he can run in a zigzag pattern down the road without pulling my arm off.
When it’s just me and him though, he is really protective of me. We have to walk through the back of my neighbor’s yard to get to the little neighborhood next door. Recently, the neighbors just got a Chihuahua. A really yappy Chihuahua that thinks he’s some hot stuff. Duke does not appreciate this little thing yapping at me, so he does the best thing he can think of to tell the little guy to back off: he marks his spot on everything.
He learned this from a country dog that belonged to our good friends (may he rest in peace). Don’t worry Mater, your spirit lives on every time we cross through our neighbor’s yard.
Duke will always squat like a girl to pee, except when he decides it’s time to get territorial. Then he hikes his leg like a man.
Oh wait, except he never actually pees. He’ll just go around the yard hiking his leg over everything while staring at Mr. Tiny Yappy Dog. “Take that, mister. I just waved my leg over your flower. And your blade of grass. And your owner’s golf cart. And your bush. And your tree. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW, HUH? HUH??”
I feel so protected. NOT. Although I much prefer Duke pretending to be territorial than him actually being territorial. Because if he ate my neighbor’s dog, they probably wouldn’t appreciate it very much.

So to my neighbors: don’t worry. You’re flower garden is not going to die. Neither is your grass. Or your tree. Because my dog isn’t really peeing over all your stuff, he’s just pretending. Oh, and bring your dog inside. He’s annoying for such a tiny thing. Also, I don’t like Chihuahuas.  
“Better a bread crust shared in love than a slab of prime rib served in hate.” ~Proverbs 15:17

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